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It was day 5 of being stuck in quarantine alone. I had tested negative for Covid and was thankfully asymptomatic, but as a friend who actually had it pointed out, he was able to kill time by sleeping a lot. If I’m being totally honest, at this point, my life in quarantine wasn’t that different than my usual day to day, since I work from home. But it was the casual small talk and the freedom to leave my tiny house that was starting to wear on me. Not only that, but I was feeling very angry. Irrationally so, I knew how lucky I was, but I just felt the anger and irritation bubbling up. I was bored, I was restless, I was sexually frustrated. Meditation and yoga wasn’t cutting it anymore. So I turned to a slightly-above a micro-dose of mushrooms to see if I could push my way out of a rut that was steadily getting worse.
A micro-dose is a low dose of mushrooms, typically between 50-100g. The medium dose I was set to take was a little higher, but if you’re not too sensitive, can still be considered micro.Voyage by Mindful Meds contains 350mg of Psilocybe Cubensis and 50mg of Lion’s Mane. It’s recommended you take on a full stomach, and if you haven’t dabbled before, it’s best to do it on a day when you can stay home. And although microdosing is known as very safe, there’s always a risk when it comes to mental health and psychedelics. If you have a history of mental health issues like bipolar or schizophrenia, we suggest avoiding psychedelics or speaking to a professional.
I’m no stranger to the power of plants, and to the magic of mushrooms specifically. But although I’d dosed both in a micro way and a little more *ahem* recreationally, I had never set an intention and spent time in a setting designed to help with something specific. It was a blue sky day, and I set up a space in my backyard. I had nettle iced tea ready, an eye mask, a playlist, my journal and even some incense lit. I took a dose of the Mindful Meds Voyage, and I was ready.
A short time later, I was laying on a yoga mat on the grass with a blanket, eye mask secured and an ambient playlist on my wireless headphones. I soon felt the giddiness in my chest I often feel when I’m starting to get a little high. I had set the intention of releasing some anger and figuring out some boundary issues I’d been having. As my playlist went from one sort of droney-yoga song to the next, I felt as though I was working through each chakra. (If you’re not a meditation-head maybe look this up).
Reaching my throat, I had the sensation that I had spent the day yelling and screaming, and this woke me up to some insights around (as cheesy as it sounds), ‘speaking my truth’. The experience continued, and it felt profound. I felt the usual wonderful aspects I’d come to expect from microdosing, the feeling that all is somehow one, and that we are all connected. But I was surprised to find after the time spent outside, when I returned inside to my room and to my soft shag rug and put on some Motown, I felt calm and warm. As though I had slid into a bubble bath, but the bath was my room, and the warmth was everywhere. I felt like I was positively glowing. I ambled about the rest of the evening, feeling the same secure and calm feeling.
When I woke up the next day, I felt a little dehydrated, with a little bit of a headache which could easily have been from lying in the sun for hours the previous day. But as I got up and got along with my day, I felt no trace of the anger or irritability that been plaguing me. I felt motivated, and for the first time in weeks I felt clear. Sure, I couldn’t take a trip anytime soon, or even leave my yard, but I found that the Voyage was able to take me somewhere deeper. I thought I needed more space, but it turns out it was inner space that I was missing.
Pictures and text by Steph McIntyre (Openbloomers)
Original article can be found at: https://www.openbloomers.com/ness/needalittlespace
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