I am a former professional hockey player. I was selected by the Chicago Blackhawks in the 2003 NHL Entry Draft and played in the National Hockey League (NHL) with the Ottawa Senators.
I had played hockey since I was 5 years old, and I had always dreamed I would make it to the NHL. However, my career was unfortunately cut short due to injuries I sustained over my time playing.
I cannot even begin to describe the feeling you get stepping out on the ice, the rush of adrenaline, the crowds, the fans, my teammates. When I was healthy and playing well, I was on cloud 9. However, the injuries I sustained while playing were sidelining me and my ability to perform at my full potential. I tried all kinds of different therapies, and medications. Not one of them helped. They just masked any pain I was feeling. I was willing to do whatever it took to feel like myself again. So, upon the advice of many different doctors, I took their pain killers, and prescriptions. I needed to get healthy quickly before someone else stole my job.
When you’re a professional athlete, no one holds your position for you while you recover from injury. There is no medical leave. If you’re fortunate enough, you may have secured your place on that team. However, I never had my foot in the door long enough to secure any of those positions. Therefore, after every surgery I had, I was forced to prove I belonged again, forced to start over, and forced to prove I belonged in that net. It was a constant struggle. A struggle that no one talks about.
After another major concussion and my third surgery, I had to make a decision. At my age, as a professional hockey player with 3 major surgeries already, I had to ask myself what was most important in life. My wife and I had just had our first child and my life goals started to look a little different. I had a family to provide for, I needed job security. Which led to me making one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make; I hung up my skates. At the time, I didn’t realize what that meant. I didn’t know how to do or be anything else. I had always been a hockey player, and a damn good one. Soon, I just felt worthless. My anxiety, depression and pain were real and I had no idea why I felt the way I did. I tried taking prescription medications, but they just made me feel numb. I couldn’t function properly. I didn’t have the energy to chase my son. My pain was affecting my relationships. I knew I needed something more, so I started to explore my options.
I had been using plant medicine for 20+ years but was never aware of their true healing powers. After much research and experimenting I had finally found psilocybin to be something that worked to help me heal. The problem was quality control. That’s why I was excited to join the MindfulMeds team. MindfulMeds is my choice for micro-dosing because it makes the process easy, and fast. With an amazing team of mycologists, I can trust to always get the highest quality products available.